Getting Back On The Horse

Have you ever felt like you just can't keep it together? Or maybe you have so many challenges that you feel overwhelmed. Does it make you want to quit? Have you ever felt like just giving up? Well... I have. Statistically, many pastors do not run the race to the end. We don't last the long haul. Some pastors start out with hopes of running a church or ministry well into retirement, but many stop within the first few years. I never could quite figure it out. I mean... to me, it felt like people were giving up on God. They weren't. I truly didn't understand until it happened to me. I got to a point where I wanted to quit ministry! I'm not quite sure if the apprehension to continue evolved from church issues or personal stress. Either way, everything seemed to be too much to handle. Maybe you have experienced loss of a loved one, divorce, unemployment, health problems, financial stress, family pressures, educational failures, and worse of all, loss of support. Eventually, I just decided that in order to survive the almost inevitable ministry pitfall, what I call "premature retirement", it would necessitate taking care of me. After all, if I wasn't doing well, how could I even do ministry. In a nutshell, I took a much needed sabbatical. So how does one recover from feeling like they have failed God? Is it even failure? Who is measuring one's success in ministry anyway? How does one measure success in ministry? Maybe it's more about finishing the race that you started. Undoubtedly, when a person gets to the point of quitting ministry many feelings can occur: discouragement can set in; self-pity can dominate; confusion can creep in; and fear can loom about you. Fear of failure, fear of rejection. So again, how does one recover? Slow and Steady. In the book of Esther, Mordecai discovered a plot for the annihilation of the Jews. Queen Esther, a Jew, learned of Mordecai's lament (Esther 4:5)over the impending demise of their people. She became instrumental in the cessation of the plot. (Esther 3-7) As the story goes, after sending Esther a reliable account of the situation, Mordecai gave her a charge to intercede with the king for the sake of the Jews. "7 Mordecai told him everything that had happened to him, including the exact amount of money Haman had promised to pay into the royal treasury for the destruction of Jews.8 He also gave him a copy of the text of the edict for their annihilation, which had been published in Susa, to show to Esther and to explain it to her, and he told him to instruct her to go into the king's presence to beg for mercy and plead with him for her people."(Esther 4:7,8) "When Esther responded to Mordecai, she expressed the hazard of addressing the king, to which Mordecai urged Queen Esther to intercede in spite of. The law did not permit an unrequested audience before the king, thereby leaving the kings isolation. Why make such a law in the first place? Who was more affected? The kings or their subjects? Why even have a king if one lived in fear of being able to present grievances. In the kings' confinement, they had become victims of their own arrogance and haughtiness. It was particularly very uncomfortable for their wives (for there was not a proviso in the law to except them), who were bone of their bone and flesh of their flesh. But perhaps it was wickedly intended as much against them as any other, that the kings might the more freely enjoy their concubines, and Esther knew it. Miserable was the kingdom when the princes framed their laws to serve their lusts." (Matthew Commentary) Mordecai sent an answer: "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:13-14) Mordecai invokes her to plead her own cause, for her position in the court will not be her protection. Which is the lesser of two evils? Will Esther perish by the law or by the edict? "It was certainly her wisdom to expose herself to a conditional death from her husband than to a certain death from her enemy." (Matthew Henry Commentary) Esther realized that one way or another God would deliver the Jews. As she accepted the charge, she knew that she could not do it alone. Esther sent Mordecai a reply. "Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish." (Esther 4:16-17 NIV) I thank God that it is not this way when we need to lay down our burdens before the King of kings and Lord of lords. We can go boldly to the throne room of grace, knowing that we serve a God who answers prayer. For this is all made so by the Lamb of God (Jesus) who shed His blood for us. Like Esther, we go before the Lord to plead our own cause but we also need to plead the cause of others. The queen exercised wisdom as she manuevered how to carry out the charge received from Mordecai. Esther became an instrument for God, one "which staggered not at the promise when danger was most threatening, but against hope believed in hope. As vessels for the Lord, we know that instruments may fail but God's covenant will not." (Matthew Henry Commentary) In spite of all odds, all challenges, all failures, can you "against hope believe in hope"? God has called all Christians to be ministers of the Gospel. Some have been called to the Fivefold ministry. (Ephesians 4) Either position is a position of service to God and His Kingdom. Will you plead the cause for others in such a time as this? "He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." (Luke 10:2 NIV) This is why I am making sure that I get back on the horse. It's because her story rings in my heart and has encouraged others for decades. We, too, have royal positions. Those that know Jesus and have accepted Him as their Lord and Savior have become royal priests in the Kingdom of God who are called to serve. "And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" I want to encourage you to be an instrument for God. Respond in obedience to the Great Commission. Be a disciple that makes disciples. According to the Bible,"Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28: 18-20 NIV) Touch the brokenhearted by sharing Jesus. Reach out for the lost. Pray for the unsaved. Someone out there is waiting for you to be an instrument of God that crosses their path. Seize the opportunity to pray for someone, bless someone,and encourage someone. The Bible gives a testimony to the life and ministry of Jesus:"The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor." (Luke 7:22 NIV) Let us walk the way Jesus walked. "Who knows but the you have come...for such a time as this?" (NIV)